Sunday, November 22, 2015

The kind of mom I want to be


Once you are a mom, you're always thinking (or is it just me?) about what "kind" of mom you want to be.

For me, I have a lot of great mom role models.

I remember seeing photos on Facebook of one mom who always made pumpkin pancakes for her kids in the fall. I saw them and thought, "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

I remember realizing that some moms bring their kids on zoo outings when the weather is nice, just because. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

Or the mom who takes her boys on road trip adventures full of educational opportunities and unforgettable experiences. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

What about the mom who always looks effortlessly put together and even when she isn't, doesn't seem bothered by it? "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who calmly reacts in public to her toddler's outburst by giving him a hug. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who goes hiking with her family, nursing and wearing the baby while patiently allowing the toddler to explore and experience nature. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who bounces right back into comfortably taking time for herself, leaving her baby with someone she loves and trusts while enjoying an evening out of the house. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who still goes on dates with her husband, because she knows how important it is to keep the flame alive in her marriage. While they are out, she isn't anxiously thinking about how the kids are or if they are in bed for the sitter. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who goes to baby and me yoga. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who uses "quiet time" as an opportunity to read and be read to by her child. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

The mom who always lends an understanding ear, doesn't pass judgement and never has a snarky remark. "That's the kind of mom I want to be."

I think there are a lot of kinds of moms. And I think every one I know is pretty damn great.

This week is Thanksgiving; a time to be thankful for all the things in our lives. In the spirit of the holiday, I'd like each of you to think about the kind of mom you want to be. Then stop, and realize that you probably already are that kind of mom. Be thankful that you are a mom. And you're freaking awesome at it. Thanks for being here. And thanks for being so cool being you.

Thursday, November 19, 2015

My Nursing Essentials


Nursing my second baby has been a completely different experience as nursing my first. There is a certain confidence that comes with nursing your second baby, I think. I'm much more comfortable nursing in public, or anywhere really, in front of anyone. A lot of that comfort comes from having the right "gear".

Since I know lots of mamas about to have their second or who just had their second and are exclusively nursing, I thought this post may be of use to a few of them. Here are my favorite nursing essentials this time around:

1) Bamboobies
I could say this over and over - these nursing pads are THE best. I leaked A LOT with LW and Mo in the beginning. Here and there I still get a little sore from some distracted nursing so I still take these out and use them with a little ointment, even now. They're definitely a must have from day one.

2) Gilligan & O'Malley Nursing Tanks
It takes a few weeks for your supply to regulate, which means early nursing breasts are just too big for fitted bras. Nursing tanks come into play and I basically lived in them for....a few months. Now my supply has regulated and I can wear bras I feel good in (stay tuned for that item). I still wear these tanks to bed every night - having proper nursing attire makes nursing even more enjoyable. I didn't have any for LW other than bras and wow is my experience more pleasant this time having clothes meant for nursing in. For whatever reason I prefer the Henley version of this tank top specifically. They just feel nicer than the standard version, to me.

3) Soma Nursing Bra
I'm not sure if Soma had the Full Coverage Contour Nursing Bra when I nursed LW but when I needed new nursing bras for Mo I bought one and I LOVE it. It feels like a "real" bra - full coverage and support - but you can nurse in it in a snap. It's wonderful. I also have a few of their Full Coverage Unlined Nursing Bras and I really like the feel of them, I just prefer the Contour model.

4) Undercover Mama Nursing Tank
They call this tank the "basic essentials" and that is the perfect name for it. When paired with your favorite nursing bra, this top is a slam dunk. It's fitted and slimming, nice and long and works with any clip style nursing bra. LOVE love love this tank. I only have one of them, but I could wear it every day.

5) Latched Mama Hoodie
This one I told you yesterday that Hubs got me for our 4 year anniversary. I had been following Latched Mama on Facebook for a while, always heard good things and even bought one as a gift, but never opened it to inspect before I wrapped it. W-O-W is this hoodie nice. Living in Chicago, the weather gets really dang cold and calls for loads of layers. This hoodie is pure perfection. It's fleece lined and crazy, ridiculous levels of soft and snuggly. I will be wearing it A LOT this winter and I think it looks sporty enough that I can keep wearing it beyond this winter, when I'm no longer nursing a babe.

Hopefully that helps some nursing or soon-to-be nursing mamas fill in their list for Santa ;-)

Did I miss anything? Tell me your essential nursing items in the comments on Facebook.

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Some Updates


Hi! I feel the best way to share some updates is by photo. So here we go. 

Billy still isn't ready to potty train. No biggy! 

Hubs and I just celebrated our 4 year wedding anniversary. He got me a Latched Mama nursing hoodie. Not only is it SUPER warm and awesome quality, it's so snuggly, it induces baby nursing naps. My favorite kind of naps. I endorse this product 100%. I could own one in every color. I love it. 

I've been researching sensory toys so Christmas is both fun AND beneficial for LW. I found a deal on a jungle gym on and jumped on it yesterday. Merry Christmas, LW!!!

Mo sits up now!!! He is getting stronger every day and watching his development is amazing. 
That said, I'm glad I did my research and I am sticking to my guns on not introducing solids before his 6 month birthday. Not only is it best for his tummy and enzymes, all of the signs he's showing that he's ready definitely doesn't mean he is "ready". I've started giving him one breast milk pop every day while we eat family dinner. He can reach for it, pick it up, get it in his mouth (most of the time), but once it's there he sucks and spits the liquid back out. His reflex for gagging is still too far forward. He's not ready to have other things in his mouth yet. I believe he will LOVE solid foods when he's ready, but he's just not ready yet. In more ways than one. 
I got a babywearing hoodie. It's the best. Thing. Ever. Can you tell I love hoodies?! 

I planned on doing a fun activity/project every day for the next two months. Since the holidays aren't chaotic enough, I thought I would add fuel to the flame. Well, I've done three so far. Two on the calendar and one just because we felt like it (twice). Turns out that like everything else, if I over plan, I under deliver. I'm sure we will do several of the planned events along the way and they'll be awesome. 

That's all
For now!! 

Monday, November 2, 2015

Parenting is Hard: Sensory Needs


I feel like I've always been an "aware" parent. I am aware that my older boy LW is a climber. He's always been ahead of the curve in physical activity and motor skills.

From taking him to Kindermusik since he was 4 months old, my husband and I learned he's a very kinesthetic learner. We know he learns best when asked to complete a physical activity while listening. If no physical activity is given, he creates one by bouncing in our lap, running back and forth across the room or jumping like a frog.

Lately it's become very apparent in more areas than just Kindermusik class. He acts out physically at times we feel are inappropriate and it's been infuriating.

I found myself posting on moms groups and asking every mom I know "How can I help him?" or saying things like "What is wrong with my kid?" "Why does he do this when no other kids around are doing that?" and I think things like, "Do all kids do this? Or is it just mine...?" (which is a horrible, sinking feeling)

Let's rewind a bit further. When Mo was born, LW started stripping his clothes off as a regression, which we took then as a sign he was ready for potty training. He would spread and smear and "play" in his poop.

For as long as I can remember, I've needed to take LW for a car ride fo get him to take a good nap. When he was in a crib he could CIO for a while and go to sleep, but once he was in a bed he couldn't be contained and lulled to sleep. He had to be driven or strapped into the stroller.

When I brought these things up on Facebook begging for help, a few occupational therapist friends kept using this word "sensory". The first time it was brought up I heard it as a taboo word. "MY kid doesn't/couldn't/won't have sensory issues" I thought. "Sensory issues are for kids with....issues. LW doesn't have issues" And yet, I kept asking the same question to my closest mom friends, "What is wrong with my kid."

Well, it's taken two and a half years of parenting...but today I was served a big ass freaking dish of humble pie.

While we were at the zoo today, LW bolted. And he bolted again. And again. And by the end of the day I had lost track of how many times he'd done it. I got home, exhausted. I didn't know what to do and didn't understand WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY KID. Punishments typically have no effect on him. It doesn't bother him to be told no, or time out, or ouch, or mommy is sad, etc.

While talking it out over and over and over with some of the same mom friends I had a realization that the common thread through all of his misbehavior was that he was craving something else. He doesn't have sensory issues he has sensory needs - and every child has sensory needs!

That's why he learns well when he's DOING. He listens best when he's given a TASK. He responds quickest when he is RE-DIRECTED. He challenges me most when I am NOT challenging HIM enough.

I started my research by googling and found this amazing series called Decoding Everyday Kid Behaviors by Lemon Lime Adventures. As I read through the list of different behaviors I could relate to one in this category, one in that one...and then when I got to "Movement" it was like every article was written for LW.

Can’t Hold Still for Lessons | Preschool Powol Packets
Climbs & Jumps on Things | Golden Reflections Blog
Clumsy | B-Inspired Mama
Hanging On Everything | Mama OT
Hyperactivity   | Wildflower Ramblings
Over-reacts to Everything | Kids Activities Blog
Won’t Sit Still When We Read a Story | Growing Book by Book

I poured through every article over the last two hours in between diaper changes and during nighttime nursing sessions because I am so blown away. I feel like a sponge. And finally I feel like someone "gets" LW. So many of the suggestions given in these articles are things I've been implementing over time with LW because it seemed like something he would enjoy or things that other moms suggested. Little did I realize that it was complete mommy intuition taking over. I knew he needed these things. I just didn't *know* I knew. You know? 

Hubs wanted me to make it clear when I wrote this post that LW doesn't "have anything wrong with him" and he didn't want me to "start diagnosing him with problems". Quite the opposite. Now I feel like I've finally found my parenting niche for toddlerhood. I feel like I've found my people. 

Now when he bolts instead of saying "STOP!" and "DON'T!" and "I SAID NO!" I know to redirect with "Hurry, hurry! Run to this slide!" or "Stop and jump like a frog!" or "Time to twirl". He bolts because his body NEEDS to move. He also NEEDS to learn to listen to direction and respect the space around him, but since I'm just learning how to help him, he is not the one at fault here entirely. 

I'm so excited. I can hardly stand it. Sensory play has been a passion of mine for a while because I love letting him experience new and interesting things but this research has unleashed a beast inside of me. 

I am so thrilled to have even more tools to help my child grow to be his best self. He doesn't have issues. He has needs. Now I know that. Now I can help him. Now we can learn together. 

There's nothing wrong with my kid. There are simply things I can help him with to grow and make him even better. 

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

We Quit Potty Training & Other Things I Haven't Said


Hi! It's been a while. Sorry for that.

I'll start here: a few weeks ago I posted a photo of a new Jamberry manicure I put on and joked that I "am not a quitter" because I was going to finish the whole container of Oreos. For the record, I couldn't finish that container. Do you know how much sugar is in Oreos? Couldn't do it.

Well, that and other things makes me a quitter. And apparently makes me a liar too.


I'll say it slowly. We. Quit. Potty. Training.

IT FEELS AWESOME. Having our two year old in diapers is a comforting, wonderful sense of home that gives me peace. Taking him to the potty every waking moment of the day was exhausting. Cleaning up human feces from every (white) carpeted surface in my home with a newborn in my arms (or wailing on the ground next to me while I scrubbed) was making me lose my sanity. So....we quit.

The reason we started potty training to begin with was because LW wouldn't keep his gosh dang diapers ON. So we thought, "Oh! That means it's time to potty train." And it was six weeks of pure HELL. Then we went back to diapers and he started stripping them off...again. So we tried to potty train...again. Still failed.

Now he's successfully been back in diapers a month-ish and it's such a relief.

I just felt like I needed to share that with you, in the spirit of full-disclosure.

Here are a few other things I would like to share:

I was pro CIO with LW, but it's completely different with Mo. If he cries, my whole heart breaks. Not having postpartum depression makes having a baby completely different. Like, whoa.

We have lived in our new home just over a year now. HOORAY! Hubs finally fixed the lock on the front door. Which stuck in the locked position pretty frequently. Know how awkward it is to try and sign for a UPS package but not be able to unlock the door...while my dog is jumping and trying to lick the package out of the UPS man's hands and I yell through the door "SORRY!!! LOCK'S STUCK. HANG ON. SORRY. STILL CANT UNLOCK THE DOOR. SHE'S FRIENDLY. SORRY." Pretty awkward. But maybe that made up for the security we lacked elsewhere. Read below.

And a week ago, Hubs fixed the lock on the patio door. That also hadn't work since we moved in, and allowed cold air to gust through it, making the family room really dang chilly. Our patio door doesn't lock with a PVC pipe anymore, people! CELEBRATE IN THE SECURITY WE NOW HAVE!! AND WARMTH!

Hubs recently received fresh salmon a friend caught, for free. He's always wanted to smoke salmon and since this was free so I said go for it. Note to wives: if your husband wants to do this, don't let him. The house stunk forever like smoked fish. Then when he cleaned out the smoker, it stunk again from the smoker parts. Now our fridge smells because he made macaroni salad with smoked salmon instead of tuna. I don't like smoked salmon. Not the taste, not the smell. Nada. Do not let your husband smoke salmon. Take the free salmon. Freeze it. Bake it. Sautee it. Serve it over rice. Do. Not. Smoke. It.

I sneak an entire Hershey bar every day, whether LW is napping or not. If he's not, I wolf it down in the laundry room while I pretend to do laundry so he won't question why I am back there. Mama needs a sugar fix to make it through the day. Judge all you want.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Kitchen Transformation


Hi! I'm still alive!! Life with two leaves very little time for blogging. At least, for now. 

A few weeks ago I was on Pinterest while mid-night nursing and got the idea to paint our cabinets grey. 

Over the last week, we did. We = my husband, myself and my dad. Dad was really the star of the show because he did a ton of work for this project. Hubs put in a ton of hours as well and I painted in between nursing sessions while my mom watched the boys. Talk about a team effort!!! Here are a few "before" photos: 

I did loads of research (as I typically do) and from the suggestion of a few friends, I opted to buy the Rustoleum Cabinet Transformations kit. I chose the "light" kit in Winter Fog. We were skeptical that it would work as advertised....but it did!!!!! 

I chose all new hardware also, which is where much of the budget and time of the project went. 

Are you ready...?!

Holy guacamole what a transformation!!!!!!! I'm thrilled with the cabinets and hardware. Next I think I will tweak the wall color. It's a bit of a mustard yellow/green and the cabinets are begging for a more cool tone. I think I'll stick with yellow but go more towards lemon....or maybe I'll go mint. 

We also are planning to update the backsplash. Hopefully sometime this year, maybe early next. Who knows!? All I know is right now I am thrilled one step is complete and it's beautiful. 

...and I have to cut this short to go feed a baby. CHEERS!! 

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

10 Things I Have Given Up Now That I Have Two Kids


We all like to pretend that we are doing some things better than others. It's alright to have a little pride. And, admit've considered yourself a better mom than your friends before. It's cool, we're human. We are allowed to be a little cocky from time to time. 

However, I realized recently that I am no better. Actually, we all suck pretty equally but I mean that in a loving way. It's helped me realize and learn an important lesson: We're all in this together. 

Since having Mo, there are several things that just don't get done anymore. Or at least, not as frequently as they once did. 

1) Cleaning up toys 
Can I please request a dollar for every time I have tripped over a truck, tractor or pair of shoes aimlessly strewn about my floor? Because I would be a billionaire. I have gotten good at skating across the room rather than taking actual steps like an adult. It leaves less risk for ankle twisting on a hot wheel. 

My solution was to move most toys to the basement. Less to clean up and less to trip over. Holla!!

2) Cleaning the toilets
It got bad enough last week that I asked Hubs to buy us toilet cleaner at Costco. Nothing motivates me to use things more than owning them in bulk. Whether it is a perishable item or not, if it's in bulk, I will f'ing find time to use it. 

3) Cooking

I know, I know. #whatifeedmykid and whatever. Truth is those meals aren't always meal planned.  [SPOILER ALERT] Sometimes they are just random items I find in the fridge. Mmm....most times actually. 

4) Feeding myself 
Breastfeeding is THE BOMB but it has caused me to have a touch of hypoglycemia...factor in a wildly energetic and curious two year old with the newborn and I just straight up don't remember to eat. Which is pretty dangerous. Some days it's 5:00pm and I start dinner only to realize that all I have eaten since breakfast is a leftover piece of chicken nugget and a handful of airPop. So I'm working on that. 

5) Laundry
It's always been a miracle if diapers get washed, dried, folded AND put away in one day. Now it's a miracle if a single load of anything gets moved from the washer to the dryer. My family room is constantly a mish mish of half folded loads of laundry. 

6) Taking "Me" time
I guess my "me" time is when I sleep. Because sometimes I get to do that. Today LW kept asking to stay inside when I asked if he wanted to go outside and play. So, I took that as a clue to do something I enjoy....which at the time was vacuum the floors....and clean the toilets. #adultprobs 

7) ...8) ...9) and 10) Remembering stuff
I forget everything. Almost instantly. Like Dory from Nemo. A whale!?! I speak whale! 

I had a solid list of crap I wanted to write in this post. Instead, I am going to bed now. Don't try and stop me. 9pm. No shame.