Many of you who do not yet have children will read this post and laugh. You will think "Oh, Jess...it can't be that bad. There's no way motherhood is that hard." To you, I laugh back. I was you. I had that mentality. I thought, "What's with all these new moms whining that their lives are 'so hard'...babies sleep all the time! It can't be that hard." Ha. Call me when you have your first child. I will loudly point, laugh & say "told you."
6:30am: Wake up to Baby crying. Walk to his room, nurse him. Change him. Nurse the other side. Rock him back to sleep.
7:30am: Use bathroom & take a shower before husband goes to work. Husband rocks and jiggles Baby to try and coax him back to sleep or stop crying while you shower. Try on several shirt/pant combos only to realize your pre-pregnancy clothes still don't fit. Back to a tank and yoga pants. Toss dress that actually fits in a pile of mending projects.
7:45am: Let dog out. Change Baby. Nurse. Stuff microwave breakfast sandwich in your mouth while Baby nurses. Change baby. Nurse. Plan on pumping today so Husband can take a night feeding tonight.
8:30am: Baby fell asleep while nursing and you spaced out for 45 minutes. Baby startles awake and cries. Change Baby.
9am: Baby still crying. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
9:30am: Baby cries for no reason. Bathe Baby.
10am: Baby is happy! Play on ground with Baby and enjoy tummy time together. Take a thousand photos to remember how extra cute Baby is today. Baby cries. Change. Nurse. Change. Plan on going for a walk. Run to use the bathroom while Baby is happy and quiet.
11am: Remember Dog has been outside since 7:45am. Feed Dog. Remember wanting to mend that dress today...Tell yourself you will do it later.
11:30am. Baby cries. Nurse. Change. Nurse. Baby still crying. Put Baby down and listen to him cry while making yourself lunch of the healthiest food you can find in your pantry since you forgot to make a list when you went to the grocery store and only bought Spaghettios. Leak breastmilk all over yourself while listening to Baby cry and eating your Spaghettios and Ritz crackers for lunch.
12pm: Change clothes. Realize you haven't napped yet today and you're so exhausted from cluster feeding Baby you could cry. Lay down to nap.
12:15pm: Wake up to baby crying. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
1pm: Baby is sleeping! Remember cloth diapers need to be washed today. Start laundry. While walking past kitchen spot piles of dishes. Wash dishes.
1:30pm: Turn on TV to watch a show and remember what adult conversation sounds like.
3:00pm: Baby wakes. Remember you still haven't napped because you got sucked into hours of a TV drama on Netflix. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
4:00pm: Take diapers out of washing machine and hang them to dry outside.
4:30pm: Remember you didn't plan anything for dinner. Take package that looks like it might be chicken out of freezer and place in sink to defrost.
5:00pm: Baby wakes. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
5:30pm: Husband arrives home from work. Hand off Baby. Ask if he wants to go for a walk, then realize you never did nap today and take it back. Walks are stupid.
6:00pm: Working together, you and Husband make dinner while Baby naps.
6:30pm: Dinner is ready. Fix your plate. Baby wakes. Nurse. Watch Husband eat. Change. Nurse.
7:00pm: Eat cold dinner.
7:30pm: Try to have adult conversation with Husband but fail while spacing out and texting your other mom friends about how exhausting your day was.
8:00pm: Begin bedtime routine. Nurse. Change. Nurse. Remember you never got to pump today, so Husband will not be taking a night feeding tonight.
9pm: Baby still not asleep. Nurse Change. Nurse. Let Husband hold him.
9:30: Baby falls asleep. Lay him in his crib and tiptoe out of the room to use the bathroom. Flush. Baby wakes up. Pick up Baby and try shushing and rocking him back to sleep.
10pm: Baby still not asleep. You are so exhausted, you want to rip your eyelashes out. Instead, you cry. You are mad at Baby for not sleeping. Hand Baby off to Husband.
10:30pm: Baby still crying. Nurse. Change. Nurse. Cry.
11pm: Husband goes to bed. Baby still wide awake. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
12am: Baby finally falls asleep. Lay him down in crib and tiptoe into bed.
2:30am: Baby wakes and cries. Nurse. Change. Nurse.
3:30am: Baby still wide awake. Nurse. Realize you have to use the bathroom so badly you might wet yourself and if you put Baby down he will cry and wake Husband. Waddle to bathroom while Baby still nurses and use bathroom. Change Baby. Nurse. Baby stares at you with big, wide eyes while you play games on your phone to stay awake and try rocking Baby back to sleep. Notice how cute Baby is and tweet videos of his cuteness.
4:30am: Baby finally falls asleep. Lay him down in crib and tiptoe into bed.
6:30am: Wake up to a new day & Baby crying. Walk to his room, nurse him. Change him. Nurse the other side. Rock him back to sleep. Think about how today will be better than yesterday and look at Baby thinking no matter what, he is worth it.
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