Thursday, July 9, 2015

Our First Month As Four


Wow! I must have blinked because somehow our sweet little Mo is a month old. 
I have to set the record straight: the image above is partially full of shit. Not the snuggles and huge weight gain part, either. For the first three weeks Simon was truly a delight. Sweet and snugly as can be. Then it was like someone swapped him for a gassy, crab-monster baby. 

Soooo that meant time to research. What had changed? For one, my let down. It clearly was overachieving and milk was literally shooting out of me if I did as much as lean against something. Also, my supply kicked up to eleven and I started pumping an ounce per minute. Yep, you read that right. 

After trial and error of several methods I am thrilled to report that block feeding is working for us. I have gone over 24 hours doing it and Mo has minimal gassy/crabby outbursts. 

So, I don't think saying he is peaceful and happy is totally a crock. It's just partially because sometimes babies cry. Oh, like the witching hour. That slammed into us this week too. But It's been more like the witching two and a half hours. I'm praying this breastmilk situation resolving will help us with the witching. Time will tell. 

LW has transformed into a very gentle and understanding big brother. When I tell him it's time for me to feed Mo he either snuggles in or casually finds something else to do. Now, the "something else isn't always Mama approved, but I choose my battles wisely. Basically, if it's not hurting him or anyone else while I nurse, I turn a blind eye. Especially if Mo is actually on a roll nursing. I know better now than to screw up a good latch. 

Hubs has been pretty great with the transition as well. Well, better than pretty great. He's been amazing. He sends encouraging and understanding texts while he's away at work, he asks what he can do to help, he totally steps in for bedtime duty. He's been awesome. He also has the attitude that the only thing he can't do for Mo is nurse him, which allows me to get other things done and not be tied to watching over both boys all the time. 

It's taken me some time to get my groove back, but one of my Jamberry mentors has a saying that's become my personal motto. "You only have one ass. You can only ride one horse." Now, in context she says it meaning the Jam girls should do all they can to make their Jam business great. And when I get there, I plan to do the same. However right now I need to focus on just one important thing, and that's being a mom. 

I want to be the best possible mom I can be because my boys deserve it. And right now that means some days blogging, cooking, cleaning, sewing, crafting, selling Jamberry and socializing have to take a back seat. I don't feel like I am losing myself, moreso giving myself the time to find my new path. 

This first month as a family of four has given me a lot of insight to what I am capable of. And what I don't need to be capable of. For instance, I now accept that it is totally cool to go pull miscellaneous leftovers from the fridge and some snacks from the pantry and call it a meal. Meal plan? Who needs that. A few times lately LW and I have had pretzels and lemonade as a meal. 

I've also learned that my tone is important. Because for a week or so I believed Simon thought I only screamed. Every. Single. Move. That LW made drove me absolutely bananas. And I screamed at him. I am not proud of that but it taught me to relax. Some things are dangerous. They need to be addressed and reprimanded...but some things are just a mess. And messes can be cleaned. I learned this month that sometimes I have to allow the mess. Because I don't want either of my babies to think my only tone is scream and yell. 

I learned to embrace the snuggles. Mo is our last baby. LW has been extra snuggly since I stopped working. Put the two together and my dear friends, that is Utopia. So, we snuggle. Like, all the time. 

I learned to let go of the "perfect" parenting I imagined and just parent the way that works for me. And some days that means we never leave the family room. We just watch movies and TV in our pajamas all day. And because it's not *every* day, I am completely okay with it. Oh, and iPhone apps!!! I used to say no to those too. But guess who has his own folder of games now on my phone?? Yep. In this time of transition, Hubs and I do what we need to do to survive. It's made us better, calmer, happier parents. 

So, I'll just be over here. With my one ass, riding this one horse. Being the best damn mom I can be. 


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